I was terrified I was pregnant with my fourth child at 35

Liv Curtis’ first fear when her belly began to expand was an unplanned pregnancy, and she was worried about the family’s ability to afford it.

The 35-year-old mother of three had an IUD inserted after giving birth to her third child with husband Kevin, and believed her abdominal pain might be linked to it.

Constant fatigue, loss of appetite and abdominal bloating led her to seek counselling, and the diagnosis came as a shock to her.

A 3-kilogram cancerous tumor was discovered, and so began a cycle of surgeries and treatment that few people could afford.

Speaking to Female, Liv said she ignored other symptoms including pain during sex, frequent urination, and fatigue, and dismissed them as just a busy mom.

“I had regular uterine pain, like a bad period. I had my third child in 2016 and had an IUD inserted. So when I started having discomfort three years later, I assumed the cramping pain had something to do with it.

“I thought maybe it had moved or gotten stuck somewhere it shouldn’t have moved — but I went to the doctor, had a pap smear, and everything looked fine.”

The worrying symptoms persisted and she began to feel increasingly tired, so she had an ultrasound scan which I found a small cyst on one of my ovaries – which is normal for her age.

Her GP suggested talking to a gastroenterologist or having an endoscopy, but she felt these were options, not requirements.

“He never told me he really thought I should do it, so I put it off. I was a working mom with three kids and moving around a lot — I thought this was the solution. I didn’t need all these extra scans and tests for a small cyst,” Liv said.

“I thought my GP was exaggerating, but I wish he had spoken to me and said, ‘Look, it might not be serious, but it could be. Let’s rule out some bad things.’”

“I never had a real understanding of why I was getting these referrals.”

Liv’s symptoms continued to flare up during the 2020 coronavirus lockdowns, and her fatigue levels worsened.

“I would fall asleep in the lounge at about 6pm. All I was doing was working from home and maybe taking the kids to the park.

“I got to the point where I couldn’t eat anything at all. I felt full all the time.

“One day, my husband Kevin touched my belly and said he felt something hard there.”

Despite using the IUD, Liv thought she might be pregnant.

“My first fear was getting pregnant again,” Liv said.

“I touched my belly and it felt so big. We couldn’t handle a fourth pregnancy, it was going to be crazy. I was so nervous. I thought it would be the worst thing in the world.”

Subsequent examination revealed not a baby but a 3 kg mass in the pelvis and abdomen.

“I didn’t even know what it was,” Liv recalled.

“I had all my Pap tests and injections when I was 12. I thought I was protected from gynecological cancers.”

I travelled from the Central Coast to Sydney to see The gynecologist who helped her deliver her children.

“After another ultrasound, they took me to a quiet room, which is a nightmare for any patient. There they tell you something is wrong.”

When the words came – ovarian cancer – Liv’s world began to crumble around her..

“I felt like I was falling off a cliff,” Liv said.

“It felt like everything was just white noise. My husband and I sat there holding hands and crying. I probably fell to the floor.”

“When something like this happens, you don’t think about yourself. All you think about is your children. What will happen to them?” she added.

“It’s really about the fear of death. It’s about the fear of not doing your job, or not being a mother anymore.”

The massive size of the tumor made the surgery less likely to be successful, but Liv consulted a gynecological surgeon who said the words that ultimately saved her life: “I have some friends, and I think we can take them with us.” [the tumour] Outside.’

The cancer was low grade and had been growing inside the ligament for 18 months.

She underwent surgery in late June 2020 and had a radical hysterectomy and parts of her bowel removed.

“I was kept asleep all night with a breathing tube in because the doctors said it was one of the biggest surgeries they had ever done, and very few surgeons were willing to do the surgery.

“I was very fortunate to meet this group of surgeons, because not all women get this treatment. Many women are told they are not suitable for surgery.”

Surgeons were able to remove most but not all of the tumor, but she still needed chemotherapy for the rest of the tumor.

I underwent 6 rounds of intensive chemotherapy every 21 days and finished in November 2020.

“Before I had major surgery, I told my kids I had a monster inside me,” the mother recalls.

“I said we needed to get him out, and we made a joke out of it that he was unwanted and unnecessary, and we were getting rid of him. We laughed about it.

“When I was well enough recovered from surgery, we had dinner together a week before I started chemotherapy. I had to tell them about my hair loss, and that it was because I was trying to make sure the monster didn’t come back.”

Liv was exhausted after each round of chemotherapy, and had to stay in bed for up to 10 days afterward.

Her husband Kevin took seven months off work to care for her, and Liv’s parents moved in with her temporarily and helped run the household.

The mother had suffered two relapses after initially being cancer-free following chemotherapy.

“I had a recurrence a few months later and had to have another operation. The surgeons removed all the cancer and some other parts of my bowel. They were happy that there was nothing left, but the cancer markers started to rise after about six to 10 months.”

Further tests showed that part of the tumor was behind Liv’s belly button, and a third operation would be needed.

“They couldn’t get it all out during the third surgery. They had to leave a small amount because if they kept it up, they wouldn’t be able to stitch the wound back up.”

When Liv was first told she had cancer, she chose to involve all of her friends and family rather than fight it alone, and discovered how much people cared about her.

“I told everyone. I sent messages and said I was going to get better and I needed their help to get there.

“Or I said I wouldn’t get better and that I would need them to take care of my kids and Kevin.”

Then began the avalanche of flowers, baskets, chocolates, cakes and more.

“We were in lockdown, so they couldn’t come visit me, but they did things to cheer me up all the time. One time, a friend of mine arrived with three pizzas for our family at dinner time.

“I felt the incredible support. People were coming to pick up my kids, take them to sports practice and school, and deliver groceries to us. The whole community came together for us.”

Liv has been using her experience to help other women with ovarian cancer, especially in pushing for the best possible treatment rather than accepting what seems inevitable.

“OCRF doesn’t have the pink ribbon fame, so I just want women to be aware of their symptoms, and I want them to advocate for themselves. There’s not the same level of care everywhere you go.

“If you are told you cannot have surgery, get a second or third opinion. If you feel like no one is taking you seriously, you need to be more assertive and stand up for yourself.

“I have been very fortunate at every stage of my care, but I have spoken to many women who have not had the same experience.”

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