There is one phrase that no single woman wants to hear, but is thrown around a lot in modern dating.
Olivia MayA 22-year-old girl has racked up 100,000 views on TikTok by sharing this very phrase. Of course, there are many variations of this phrase, but it basically says, “Come to me.”
Instead of inviting you out for coffee, a drink, dinner, or a movie, a guy will text you and ask if you want to go to his house. Yes, on a first date.
Olivia explained that she had canceled a date that seemed promising; originally, the plan was to have dinner and a movie because he just asked her to come.
“Just in case you were wondering what single life is like in your 20s, I just cancelled a date for the second time. ‘I’ll take you out to dinner and a movie’ has turned into ‘Come over to my place, and we can watch whatever you want on Netflix,’” she said.
Olivia, who has been single for more than two years, told news.com.au that regardless of the security aspect, she doesn’t want to go to a stranger’s house and hates the lack of effort.
“Nothing makes you feel less valuable than someone who doesn’t put in any effort, especially on a first date,” she noted.
“It’s a first impression. I don’t think it has to be anything fancy or fancy. It can just be something that both parties can enjoy together, break the ice and enjoy some company while doing something fun.”
The 22-year-old pointed out that going on a first date should require planning and should be about having fun, not just hanging out in a random guy’s lounge.
“I absolutely think this is laziness. There are so many low-cost, low-planning things you can do to make meeting someone for the first time a fun and safe experience,” she said.
Olivia said the worst first date offers she’s ever received have always been from people who message her saying, “Let’s wait for my proposal.”
In fact, Olivia went so far as to say that “this is not a date,” and said that these messages fall into the category of some of her “worst” experiences with men, well, besides the guy who “really wanted to see me so he could lick my teeth,” she joked.
Olivia’s comments received mixed reactions online, with some men claiming she was asking too much of men.
“Maybe he’s trying to save money,” one wrote.
“Dinner and a movie, and the poor guy is going to have to pay almost $200 for a first date,” another argued.
“Do you pay yourself?” asked another.
“Well done bro. Those paid coffee dates at job interviews are just bullshit,” one wrote.
The money argument was later questioned by women in the comments section, who pointed out that it was about effort, not money.
“I think people are missing the point. We don’t want to sit in a dirty bedroom watching Netflix,” one person wrote.
“My friends weren’t lying when they told me the post-Covid dating pool was chaotic,” another wondered.
“For a first date? Really? You definitely avoided a big problem there,” one person shared.
